Sorry, Dana, this is America’s canine.
I do know, it’s in Singapore. However, if I’ve my manner, it’ll patrol each park and road in our nation.
As a result of, as I’ve stated earlier than, the solely approach to save the world is a robot takeover.
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They’re simply higher at being people — and dogs.
This remote-controlled robot canine presently enforces social distancing at a Singapore park. It senses the place a pedestrian is and then performs a recorded message reminding them to maintain a protected distance.
If the particular person doesn’t cooperate, the canine will sink its metallic enamel into the flesh of the pedestrian and rip out a stable pound of thigh muscle, leaving the particular person to die — its corpse later devoured by squirrels.
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I’m unsure if that’s true. However here’s what is: the bot’s digital camera will report how many individuals are in the park.
And since it’s a robot, it’ll by no means have to alleviate itself, making it the good companion for Jesse, who would merely choose up the poop and throw it in his neighbor’s yard anyway.
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So God bless our future robot overlords, and bear in mind, my metallic mates — it was I, your buddy Greg, who selected you over these silly people.
So kill all of them… however spare me.
Tailored from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on “The Five” on Might 11, 2020.